Thursday, September 23, 2010

The Drama Ship Sailed at 4PM

So, I went on this cruise.

It totally was not what I thought it was going to be.

I am slightly bitter about it.

The premise was that two of my sisters and four of our friends were going to go on a cruise....a girl's cruise. The opportunity of a lifetime, right? Well, depends on which opportunity you mean. I prayed constantly the week before we left. I prayed like a mad woman that all these women would get along and not kill each other after spending 6 days in the same room. I also prayed that my sister T would keep it in her pants metaphorically speaking for just one week so we could all have fun without too much drama. To qualify the previous sentence I need to tell you a little about T. She has been married to and divorced from the same man twice. They currently live together as married people. They wear rings, called each other hubby and wife, share bills, etc. They aren't technically married anymore because brother-in-law says he's paid for two weddings to this woman and he's not doing it again. Whatever. They are in a committed relationship. Period. But, T has an unusual flaw. She cannot, for any reason, pass up the attention of a man. Ever.
Back to the cruise: Before we even got on the ship, when asked which of our group was single her hand shot straight up in the air. Cause you know, what happens on the ship..blah, blah, blah. I knew then what a long week it was going to be. I might mention that in order to keep myself sane and respectable I brought along a friend from church. My apologies dear friend for exposing you to my dysfunctional family. After men started showing up at our room less than 2 hrs after we boarded, my friend and I made ourselves scarce to other parts of the ship. That's pretty much the story of the whole cruise. Thank God for my friend or I would have had to tag along with the debauchery in order to stay with my group! 3 am the first night my sister E is dragging T, drunk and kicking and screaming, out of some guys room. This was the first night. She spent the rest of the vacation either with this guy or looking for this guy, who I might add was the loudest most obnoxious drunk guy I'd ever seen. We had absolutely no desire to hang out with men. In fact, I specifically came on this trip to get away from men! My friend and I went our way and they went theirs.
That being said, it wasn't the fact that everyone was drunk within the first 3 hrs on the ship and stayed drunk (sloppy drunk) the rest of the trip. I mean, they did, but it's not about the drinking. I came to have fun too. I don't care if we all sat at the pool all day and got wasted. The point of the cruise was to be know "Girls Cruise". Well, since arriving home the story is that T isn't speaking to us because we ruined her vacation. I guess reminding your sister that she's married while she's otherwise engaged is rude or something. Whatever. I didn't have to make up a story when I got home. We didn't see her again cause my little friend and I didn't want to witness nothing we might have to testify to one day so we split. But, she and I had a great time together! We went to karaoke every night, shows, the pool. We had drinks, went zip-lining and snorkeling and got to see some ruins!
It wasn't that the trip wasn't fun. It's that it totally was not a girl's cruise. It had potential, but no. I didn't see T most of the trip unless I went back to the room to change during the day since she was an "up all night, sleep all day" kinda girl and I got yelled at for interrupting her little schedule. I honestly didn't see much of E either because she spent most of the trip making sure T didn't go overboard...literally.
I don't wanna make it sound like it sucked. I mean the situation sucked, I got my feelings hurt because I felt like we just turned out to be her alibi for a week of whatever & whoever, but I did have fun. I got to see and do things I'd never seen and done before and that's what it's all about. I spent an entire week without laundry, a cell phone or a purse! I got to eat escargot and lobster and have cappuchino with Kahlua! Every meal was served to me by a guy in a tux! I can't wait to go back...with Hubby...maybe early next year if Christmas doesn't kill us first. I'll try to get some pictures up soon.


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