Happy 50th to me :)

This is my 50th blog post.

To those of you that have been going for a while, it's a small accomplishment, but it's mine. I'm so very tired from my very long night at the hospital but I wanted to take a moment to mark this occasion. I started this blog almost a year ago, so yes in the the beginning I didn't blog very often. I started it one night well after midnight, as most shady operations start, because I couldn't sleep. I had experienced something with a patient that kept rolling around in my head. I kept re-hashing the days events and going over and over the conversation in my mind until I thought I would explode. I had also just had a conversation with a friend about toying with the idea of blogging. So, well after midnight, I found myself setting up a Blogger account. I didn't even know what to call myself. When it came time to give a URL name I balked...I couldn't make up my mind. Hence the URL: makingupyourmind.blogspot.com. Some of you may have not even noticed that my blog name and URL didn't match...no matter. By the time I figured out what to call the blog I had a couple of followers and certainly didn't want to lose them, so I just kept things as they are. Some of you know that I started blogging from my Blackberry at first and just recently have been able to upgrade to the "real" internet...hence the giant jump in activity.

I can really say that I enjoy my blog. When I started I was in the midst of some questions about myself that I have been able to answer specifically through my blogging. I was and sometimes still am trying to find myself. Not so much in an existential way as a literal, "where am I" way. Before the blog I was lost to my life in a way that was kind of sad. Lost to motherhood, even though I love my children. Lost to being a wife, even though I love my husband. Lost even to being a friend, even though I have amazing friends. This blog has helped me find out more about myself in the last several months than I have been able to find in the last several years. I have been known to post some personally challenging things, as well as some fun and light-hearted things, but I make no apologies because that's my life. Sometimes it's all fun and games and other times it just plain sucks.

Thank you to my followers, few though you may be, for joining the journey. This is just the beginning. Pretty soon it'll be my 100th post, then my 1000th post and beyond.

I can't wait :)

Whew!

This title speaks volumes. Ya'll I am tired. Not tired...that's the wrong word...I am thoroughly exhausted. I have been working and working. I wish I could say I was working my butt off, but alas it is still following me around! Some good things have happened in my blog-absence though. A long talk happened with the boss and I was finally able to have LPN added to my job title. After all the time I have spent kicking myself for not going on to become an RN, I have never been so happy to be an LPN! It still isn't the greatest situation. I got asked if I felt "comfortable enough" to clean a 1 inch cut on some kid's forehead yesterday. Not bandage, mind you, clean - as in apply saline with a gauze. Oh well. At least I wasn't told I'm not qualified enough for that too. It kills me. I am blessed to have this job though. Wonderful things have happened recently because of the extra money in the house. I was finally able to get rid of my delapidated minivan! Mama's got a new car. Yay! We are able to cover our financial situation with wiggle room and put some away. I kind of forgot what it felt like to make money. It feels good. I miss being at home. I miss my kids. I miss the relaxed environment. I miss knowing what my day will be like or what to expect. My body is a frayed bundle of nerves. Its been weeks since I felt like I've had enough sleep. I need a nap...badly. My days off aren't really like days off, they are more like recovery. I can't say that I am enjoying them properly because I'm so worn out. I am super excited that I was able to get Wednesdays off this schedule for a bible study and also 4 days for Spring Break! My sister will be visiting :) Consequently, I have to work 4 weekends in a row. Oh, I hope I catch my groove soon. I am sorry that I haven't blogged lately. I have wanted to. I miss that too! I want to take a minute to apologize for ignoring my comments. I didn't receive them until this week! I don't know what happened, but I wasn't notified about any of them. I cried when I read them. The Christmas holiday was so bleak and horrible for me. I didn't think that anyone knew what I was going through, but you were there all the time, cheering me on. Thank you to anyone who visited my blog or left a comment. I would like to say a big ol'"Welcome" to my new follower GunDiva!! Thank you so much for visiting. You are the first person to "find" me on this thing called the internet. I am appreciative of your patronage darling ;) Hopefully it won't be long before I can post again. Thanks for joining the journey.