Crazy Ideas, Crockpots and Me

Ok, so sometimes I think I am really a glutton for punishment. No, really. I am. My recent decision to go back to nursing school has me a little frantic. I remember nursing school. I remember how exhausted I was, how much I cried, how few hot meals my family ate during that time. No joke, at least 3 nights a week of peanut butter and jelly. In an attempt to keep my life from falling apart after I start nursing school in January, I have decided to *attempt* this crazy thing I have been seeing on the internet...Freezer Cooking. Now, this is not a a "cooking" blog, but I thought, who cares? Someone might enjoy it :) Probably not, but I'm writing about it anyway haha. The general concept is that you buy all the ingredients you need for several meals and spend the time to assemble them into ready to cook recipes (like crockpot meals or casseroles) then freeze them. When you need to cook, you just pull it out of the freezer and throw it in the oven or crockpot. I really like the idea, I'm just not sure I am consistent enought to do it right. I have been scouring the internet, reading every blog I can find, trying to learn from these other women who's houses are mostly clean and who's freezers are fully stocked with ready to go meals. It sounds like a total scam, but I'm going to do it anyway. Have any of you tried this? Did it work? It's a scam isn't it? No, don't tell me. I want to be suprised. I will be starting sometime in the next week or two, but this is what I need...warnings, tips, advice, general moral boosters, and booze. Not for the cooking, just for me :) If any of you have tried it I need to hear from you! If it didn't work, I need to hear from you more!! Do you have recipes that you know freeze well? Send them to me! If I use of your recipes I will link back to you ;) Anyway, be on the look out for that post in the next couple of weeks!

The Ongoing Evolution of Me

Well, this post ain't what it used to be.


I spent a good hour last night writing this post, and one second before I was finished the entire post vanished. Poof! Gone with the Wind.

The only thing left is the title.

The only thing I can say is that it makes me sad. Anyone who writes knows that writing is a purging of thoughts. Once those thoughts are out onto paper or computer screen they no longer reside in your brain. You remember the topic you wrote about, the idea you were trying to get across, but the actual words you used are a jumble. No two posts are ever alike.

Yes, I will re-write this post. Will it be the same? No. The good news is that since you didn't read the last one you have nothing to compare it to but I digress.

The point I originally set out with was this: I have decided, after about a year long dialog in my head with God, to return to school. I thought that Nursing School was my last foray into education. Apparently I was wrong, as God has informed me anyway.

Over a year ago, I had an experience that since then has pretty much changed my life. I wrote about it in A Heart Response. The 15 minutes I spent with that girl sparked something in me that I cannot for the life of me explain to other people.Believe me I've tried. The closest I can come to explaining it is by describing it like a light bulb coming on, or an alarm going off. I spoke with my friend, who also happens to be my pastor, recently about all of this and told him that it feels like Paul's Damascus Road experience in the New Testament. Paul was blinded until another Christian touched his eyes and things like scales fell off of his eyes. Then he could see and he spent the rest of his life seeking to serve the Lord. I spent about a year prior to this in counseling of sorts with my friend, the pastor, healing over my own pain and abuse. The growth was extraordinary but exquisitely painful. After that, I feel like I can see things that I could not see before. I see pain. Everywhere I look, everyone is in pain of some sort. Everyone of us has gone through something that has left it's mark...some sort of damaged idea that we carry around with us. Some lie that tells us something about ourselves that isn't true. Everyone... and I can see it. God, for some reason, has given me the ability to see past the "face" that we put on for other people and I can see for the first time just how much everyone needs him. It's staggering. Now I'm not talking about some sort of mystical "aura" or something crazy, I just mean that when I talk with someone now, I can just about pinpoint where their pain lies. What lie they believe about themselves. It's actually a little painful for me to pretend that I don't see it and continue having the conversation while restraining the urge to speak with them about it. It's a little like someone with severe OCD walking into a room with a crooked picture frame and not being able to straighten it. You can't concentrate because the whole time you want to say, "Excuse me, I'm sorry. I can't concentrate. I just need to fix this. Thanks." I feel a little retarded actually. So after about a year of God pushing, I finally decided to call his bluff. Without telling anyone, even Hubby, I applied to a local college's Undergraduate Program as a major in Psychology. This week I received my acceptance letter. Two days after that I received a Pell Grant.

Ok God, I'm listening.

Here I sit, full-time Nurse, full-time Homeschool mother of 3 boys (one of which is beginning high school in August), full-time wife, chief cook and bottle washer....now full-time student. The whole admission process is not complete yet, but close and I'm not sure if I'll start this term or next. The only thing I know is that God directed and I obeyed. Beyond that I'm lost. I have no idea what happens next. I have this hazy idea that I might become a Christian Therapist. That was good for a few days, then I started looking into what that involved. In the great state of Alabama, counselors and therapists alike require graduate studies. A Master's Degree plus a clinical component that can take another year or two to finish after the degree is completed. Here, the only difference between counselor and therapist is the amount of clinical time. Soooo, I don't know. Am I suppose to convince my family that after my Bachelor's, I have to return for my Master's? Hubby loves me and is supportive but admits that this whole things sounds crazy to him. He feels a little like I'm wasting the education I already have. I understand and respect that. So far I haven't found a college in this whole region that offers the clinical component that I would need, so I find myself wondering what God is up to. Maybe therapy is not where I'm headed. Ok, so what then? Teaching? I'm lost. So far, all I know is that I that I feel like I took the step I needed to take. Now, I just have to wait for God to tell me where the next step is.